Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
