I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Couch. On fire.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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