Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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