I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
