Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
