Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
