So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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