Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
false alarm, still single
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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