I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
