and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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