So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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