We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
