Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
