you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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