At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
