At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
