dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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