I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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