if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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