Sponge bath it is.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
