This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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