do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
