just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
