You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
