I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
