Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Randomize
