I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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