OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
