i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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