For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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