I want to stick my p in your. b.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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