Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
