we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
