he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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