Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
