She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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