How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
