Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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