How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
