I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
