So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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