She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
