I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
