she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
