My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
