We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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