i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
