Your face is a jimmy john
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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