I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
