I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
its not stalking. its research.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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