Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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